It’s not whether we break up, its when. Maybe its my fault but I feel that you want the break up more than me. Excuse my French but you are treating me like shit. You keep all your plans to yourself and then expect me to be content with plans you don’t tell me about. I show indifference and you question why I am indifferent. My answer is simple, I’ve learnt not to care about what you do. I let you go and study abroad. You then question me why I let you go. Mt answer was, and still holds true is, its because I’ve learnt not to care or affect your decisions. Some may say I’m brave, I’m just stupid for not breaking up earlier. Now you are back, you will fly away indefinitely. It would be alright if I thought you are worth the trouble but in actual fact, you are treating me like shit.
You don’t care about what I think, and you really expect me to be ok with you leave?? The quick answer is yes. I am ok because the moment you suggested that you may be leaving, I knew instantly my decision to break up is justified. It doesn’t matter if you get whatever you are waiting for, just the fact that you are waiting for this news is enough. If you get it, you will leave me indefinitely. I am seriously sick of having a long distance relationship. At least I can say I survived but you are just pushing it. I would let my boundaries extend if I feel its worth it. Unfortunately, by the way you treat me, and your lack of consultation demonstrates your lack of care towards me. I knew my value is limited in your eyes and why should I care about you when you, yourself don’t care about me. You always ask me what my long term plans are, I try to accommodate you but no matter what I say, its not good enough. The simple fact is, we have different motivations which will ultimately lead to different paths. Yes, you are smarter than me, I know your care for me is good, but…. yes, there is always a but…. I feel obliged to do what you are not brave enough to say. Let’s break. It’ll be good for the both of us. We are at an intersection on a one way street, I want to stay a bit longer so I can check if its safe but you want to go ahead. Sometimes once the decision has been made to move forward, there is no going back.
I don’t want to lie to you anymore, I don’t miss you anymorei and it kills me to say this…. I loved you but I lost it along the way.
Guess that’s it then… all I need to do now is to POP the suggestion.
